Park It

  Quick: What's wrong with this paragraph? Logan turned onto Main Street and parked the car under a maple tree.  He squinted his eyes against the sunset and saw Mary and Brown standing in front of the grocery store.  Mary spoke and Brown nodded his head.  He said something and she shrugged her shoulders.  Finally Brown waved his hand and walked away.  Mary turned to Logan and winked her eye.  "I tried to warn you," he muttered. Give up?  Well, for whatever other weaknesses it may have, it is 25% longer than it needs to be.  The version below contains the same information and 18 fewer words: Logan turned onto Main Street and parked under a maple.  He squinted against the sunset and saw Mary and Brown in front of the
grocery.  Mary spoke and Brown nodded.  He replied
and she shrugged.  Finally Brown waved and walked away. 
Mary turned to Logan and winked.  "I warned you," he muttered.  As Will Strunk said: "Omit needless words. Omit needless words.  Omit needless words."