An OSHA Workplace Safety Checklist as Designed by Me, a Child Asked to Hold the Flashlight for My Father
REQUIRED OCCUPATIONAL SAFETY AND HEALTH CHECKLIST 1. Are batteries in the flashlights up to date and working properly? YES NO 2. Are flashlights easily accessible at all times? YES NO 3. Are all flashlights really heavy? YES NO 4. Has someone at the worksite been assigned the incredibly important job of holding the flashlight straight even though the flashlights are really heavy? YES NO 5. Is everyone at the worksite on their best behavior? YES NO 6. If no, was it explained by the foreman that if everyone is on their best behavior we may get ice cream later? YES NO 7. Are all floors, hallways, and exits of the worksite free of toys and other obstructions? YES NO 8. Have all necessary tools been gathered prior to starting, with the exception for the correct-sized parts that are actually needed, which, of course, are in the garage? YES NO 9. Do all workers know the job is going to take forever and be really boring? YES NO 10. Is all safety gear free of defects and also really uncomfortable? YES NO 11. Has it been made clear that if you hit your thumb with a hammer you are allowed to say bad words, but you can’t use those bad words around Mom? YES NO 12. Have the cartoons on the TV next to the worksite been turned off so that the flashlight holder can focus even if it’s an episode they haven’t seen yet? YES NO 13. Does the flashlight holder know they can’t run off to watch cartoons even if they will definitely be back to the worksite when there is a commercial? YES NO 14. Have the plans or other instructions been misplaced two minutes into the start of work? YES NO 15. If yes, did the foreman look for them in the drawer in the kitchen? YES NO 16. If yes, were the instructions found in the last place the foreman looked? YES NO 17. Is there a possibility the workers get to see any trucks? YES NO 18. If yes, are the trucks big and loud? YES NO 19. If yes, is everyone in the work zone ready to acknowledge the trucks when they see them? YES NO 20. Does the flashlight holder remember how important it is to keep the flashlight straight the whole time? YES NO 21. Does the flashlight holder know they can’t leave the job site even if it’s mac-and-cheese night and the foreman knows that mac and cheese is their favorite, even if they promise to come back and help after dinner? YES NO 22. At completion, has the workplace been cleaned up, and is everything put back where the workers found it? YES NO 23. Without the foreman asking the workers a second time? YES NO 24. Have all screwdrivers, both pointy and not pointy ones, been sorted and stored correctly? YES NO 25. Have all nonhazardous chemicals and wastes been labeled in accordance with the Williams-Steiger Occupational Safety and Health Act of 1970? YES NO 26. Can we get ice cream? YES NO
