http://feeds.feedburner.com/mcsweeneys
-
![]()
The First Black Friday, by William BradfordOriginally published November 26, 2013. - - - And after the feaste, which did consist of water-fowl, and cod and bass and other fishes, and a...
-
![]()
Post-Dinner Interview with a Twelve-Year-Old Who Sat at the Grown-Ups’ Table for the First Time on ThanksgivingOriginally published November 23, 2021 - - - REPORTER : I’m here live with Ted moments after completing his first Thanksgiving dinner at the...
-
![]()
Butterball Helpline HelplineOriginally published November 26, 2003. - - - Q: A caller just said she forgot to baste every 10 minutes. I advised her to serve the turkey...
-
![]()
The Creative Brief from the Brand Agency That Launched ThanksgivingProject Objective Create a recurring seasonal campaign event that amplifies America’s official brand story of bloodless colonialism...
-
![]()
Thanksgiving Is Always Ruined by That One Uncle Obsessed with Steely DanThere are so many reasons to look forward to Thanksgiving. There’s the food, of course, but there’s also the chance to reconnect with...
-
![]()
We Can’t Let a Couple of LGBTQ Broadway Performers Ruin Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade“An anti-L.G.B.T.Q. group is organizing a boycott of Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade over performances by nonbinary Broadway actors, in the...
-
![]()
Why Didn’t Eagles Just Fly Del and Neal to Chicago?Every Thanksgiving, I watch the greatest comedy of all time: Planes, Trains and Automobiles . It’s beautifully written, intelligently...
-
![]()
Popular Dystopian Fiction If It Were Describing 2023Fahrenheit 305 Guy Montag, a Miami-Dade School Board member endorsed by Ron DeSantis, is in charge of rounding up books deemed too dangerous...
-
![]()
Quiz: Are You the Worst Person at Thanksgiving?Give yourself one point for each answer yes. 1. Are your pants unbuttoned before the appetizer is even put on the table? 2. Are you wearing...
-
![]()
Interviews with People Who Have Interesting or Unusual Jobs: Spencer Cammarano, Guinness World Records AdjudicatorTo help celebrate our twenty-fifth year of being on the information superhighway, we have reached out to some of our current and former...
-
![]()
Martin Luther in the West Village: The Twenty-Five Theses1. When the mega-mansion developer said, “Build,” he willed the entire life of a neighborhood into despair. 2. This despair cannot be understood...
-
![]()
How to Select a Superior Baby NameUrban parenting is a battlefield. The best nannies, the right schools—the pressure is immense. Every decision, none more so than what to...
-
![]()
Nutritious Additions to Our Elementary School Lunch Menu That Are Definitely Not Just More PizzaCheesy Flatbread Bolognese Parmesan Toast Rippers Italian Tostada Mozzarella Sauce Cruster Open-Faced Pepperoni Sandwich Four Cheese...
-
![]()
Reviews of New Food: Walmart’s Great Value Original Fruit SmilesWalmart’s Great Value Original Fruit Smiles is not exactly a new food, for the recipe has clearly been handed down through fluorescent...
-
![]()
Chief Justice John Roberts’s Guide to the New Supreme Court Ethics Code“The new Supreme Court ethics code released on Monday looks good on paper, experts in legal ethics said. But only on paper. Its lack of an...
-
![]()
All the Urgent Messages I Have Received from PhotobucketA Notice About Your Account Greetings from Photobucket. We’re reaching out to let you know that your free account is scheduled to be deleted as...
-
![]()
Short Conversations with Poets: Alice OswaldWhat is it about Alice Oswald’s poetry that is so immensely compelling? It could be the tautness, the hard brightness, of the language, the sense...
-
![]()
We Must Take a Stand Against Georgia O’Keeffe’s Unrealistic Beauty Standards for Vaginal AnatomyWe all know that women are burdened with a litany of unrealistic beauty standards: thin waists, big lips, smooth skin, silky hair, and the most...
-
![]()
In the Office Auto-Reply Emails for a Hybrid Work ScheduleHi there! Thank you for your message. I am currently in the office with email access. Due to the volume of distractions, I will not get any work...
-
![]()
I’m a Four-Year-Old Boy, and This Is My MasterClass on How to Pee Standing UpIntroduction So you’ve mastered going tinkle while sitting on your bottom. It may seem that there is little more to achieve in affairs of...
-
![]()
I Can’t Talk Right Now—I’m Desperately Scrambling to Clean Our House Before the Cleaners Get HereDo you smell that? Maybe I should light some candles real quick. Air freshener would be too obvious. Sorry if I sound a little flustered, but I’ve...
-
![]()
Twelve Things Your College Freshman Son Will Never Say During His Weekly Call Home1. “How are you?” 2. “I vacuumed my room.” 3. “You were right— Clash Royale is a waste of time.” 4....
-
![]()
Stephen Sondheim Dissects the Jardiance JingleNOTE : If you need context, here’s the Jardiance jingle . We apologize in advance. - - - “I have type 2 diabetes, but I...
-
![]()
Best Joke Ever: The Funniest Superhero Movie and My Ragnarok YearTo help celebrate our twenty-fifth year of being on the information superhighway, we have reached out to some of our favorite former columnists...
-
![]()
I Prefer Naturally Beautiful Women Without MakeupUnlike some of the shallow, paleolithic men out there, I prefer a natural woman without makeup. Actual lashes instead of fake Muppet ones. Real...
