http://feeds.feedburner.com/mcsweeneys
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I’m Eliza Doolittle, and I’ve Made a Huge MistakeAs a British woman in the Edwardian era, I have to admit that at times I’ve been swept up in fantasies of Gilded Age splendor. Perhaps it...
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Short Conversations with Poets: Jesse NathanThe first thing one notices when one reads a Jesse Nathan poem is: one’s body humming along to the music of his words. How does such a...
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My Inner Monologue When I Listen to Live JazzOh man, good for me. Look at me! I am listening to jazz. Here I am, just taking in the moment. Fully present. Just me and the music. Yup yup...
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As a Corporation, I Support Socialism as Long as It’s for Me, But Not Everyone Who Works for MeAs a conglomerate entity, which the Fourteenth Amendment clearly defines as a singular person, I would like to cast my vote for socialism. For me....
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Questionable Five-Star Customer Reviews of Mythological Objects“As many as 30 percent to 40 percent of online reviews are fabricated or otherwise not genuine…” — The Washington Post...
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[Staying at Home / Going Back to Work] After Having Your Baby Is a Terrible IdeaOh, so you’re planning to be a [stay-at-home / working] mom once your baby is born? Ha! More like a [slacker who just wants an excuse to binge...
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Taking a Bubble Bath: Fantasy vs. RealitySetting Fantasy: My bathroom is four thousand square feet and bursting with natural sunlight. It overlooks my personal botanical garden,...
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A Brief Overview of the Sámi Presence in Viking-Age Scandinavia for BostoniansArt by Matt Smith - - - So now what yah got tah undahstand is that no one even knew where Sweden n’ Nahway n’ Finland n’ Russia ended...
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I Am Still Scrolling and Would Like Very Much to Stop Feeling ThingsI have not stopped scrolling . Kids in cages, irreversible climate change, fighting in Ukraine, the Capitol insurrection, state violence against...
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Alternatives to Girl Math“A new personal finance trend has TikTok users recommending humorous new ways to rethink their spending habits. We’ve all justified...
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Reviews of New Food: Eggo Brunch in a Jar Sippin’ CreamAs a parent, my mornings are spent trying to appease my children’s finicky and inconsistent food preferences, digging mashed, soggy Cheerios...
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Well, I May Have Debased Myself to Become Speaker of the House, but At Least I Didn’t Accomplish Anything“House Speaker Kevin McCarthy was ousted from his leadership position in a historic vote on Tuesday after a far-right revolt over his...
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Short Conversations with Poets: Cathy Park HongCathy Park Hong’s first book, Translating Mo’Um , made poetry out of a representation of Asian American life that skewers the exoticizing...
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Lady, I Don’t Care How Good the Food Is, You Cannot Have an Orgasm in This RestaurantKatz’s Deli has been serving New Yorkers our delicious food for over a hundred years. As the general manager for the last twenty of those years,...
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Due to Falling Enrollments, We Will No Longer Offer Courses in Romulan at Starfleet AcademyStardate 59963.2 Welcome to a new school year. In the coming days, a cohort of cadets will begin arriving on campus, and I look forward to...
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I Am a Dainty Little Rings Person NowAttention, everyone! I have decided to start wearing dainty little rings. For those wondering, “How many dainty little rings? How many...
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Thank You for Submitting Your Homeless Shelter Application, but We’ve Decided to Use City Funds for Thirty-Five New Pickleball Courts InsteadThank you for submitting your grant application for a homelessness shelter expansion. We received many competitive proposals, including yours....
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McSweeney’s Books: A Conversation with Dave Eggers About His Book, The Eyes and the ImpossibleDave Eggers’s latest book, The Eyes and the Impossible , is the story of a dog named Johannes. Johannes is a free dog, a fast...
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If Burger King’s Jingle “Whopper Whopper” Were the Only Literary FormIf you aren’t familiar with the tune, here it is , but be warned, it will be droning on in your head for the rest of the day. - - -...
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I’m Your Three-Year-Old Interior Designer and This Is Your New Home MakeoverSo, what do you think? Never in your wildest dreams, right? It’s hard to know where to begin, because the house is almost unrecognizable, but let...
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Job Posting: Lead Bro for Vivek Ramaswamy’s CampaignJob Summary The Vivek Ramaswamy campaign for US President seeks a red-blooded, Ford-driving, Bud Light-drinking, Bass Pro Shops hat-wearing...
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A Template for Right-Wingers Upset with Taylor SwiftI can’t believe that Taylor Swift is [encouraging people to vote / dating someone who did a Bud Light commercial / dating a woke Illuminati...
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Maura Quint’s Presidential Debate Recaps: The One with Reagan’s Ghost2024 REPUBLICAN 2nd GOP PRIMARY DEBATE SIMI VALLEY , CALIFORNIA SEPTEMBER 27, 2023 - - - 9:00 PM: Fox Business host Stuart...
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The Geriatric Pregnancy Hero’s Journey1. Positive Pregnancy Test The Geriatric Pregnancy Hero is over thirty-five and ready to embark on this adventure. She’s armed with a...
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Short Conversations with Poets: Ben LernerBen Lerner’s first book of poems in thirteen years, The Lights , gathers several kinds of lines and sets them talking to one another, several...
