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An Unrecognized Device Has Logged into Your AccountAlert: This is Verizon letting you know that an unrecognized device, the only device you’ve ever used to sign in to our website, has logged...
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Ballet Flats Are Back—Can’t Wait for My Feet to Hurt and Stink for FashionGet out the Band-Aids, ballet flats are back in style. I’ve never taken a dance class in my life, but I’m going to cram my big, flat feet into...
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Been There, Smelled That: Nose Dive into Mexico CityBeen There, Smelled That explores the aromas of places around the world. Travel writer Maggie Downs investigates some of the world’s...
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Upsetting Social Media Ads for Mobile GamesA cartoon king is dangling over a pit of lava. He says, “If you don’t match the colored shapes, I die!” Time runs out and the screen blurs, so you...
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And on the Seventh Day, They Planned Their Meals for the WeekThus the heavens and the earth, and all the work for the week, were finished. And so on the seventh day, They slept in until 8:30 a.m. Then They...
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Chronicles of a Catsitter: King Fluff, Ding Dong, Pilaf, and FreddyMai Tran began catsitting in 2021 while Tran was on pandemic unemployment, often staying overnight in people’s homes. Tran has now cared...
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So Sorry! Just Seeing Your Ransom Note NowOh my god, hey! How’s it going? I feel like such a jerk, man. It has been the craziest week. I am literally just seeing this ransom note now....
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If Trump Wins, I’m Going to Have to Move to Canada to Be Closer to My Long-Distance Girlfriend, LisaThis upcoming election has consequences. In 2020, we saw then-President Donald J. Trump refuse to concede after losing reelection to Joe Biden,...
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Excerpts from The Believer:: Take the W: Entry Points- - - Our friends at The Believer are now publishing web exclusives. To celebrate, we’re sharing excerpts of their inaugural weekly...
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The Handmaid’s Tale or Harrison Butker’s Commencement Speech?“In response to the controversy surrounding Harrison Butker’s commencement speech at Benedictine College, the NFL distanced itself from...
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Hi, Architectural Digest, Welcome to My Home (That I Don’t Live In)Hello, Architectural Digest . I am an A-list celebrity who has agreed to show millions of people the inside of my home—an intimate place that few...
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An Open Letter to Whoever Keeps Making My Wife Laugh on SlackDear Whoever Keeps Making My Wife Laugh on Slack, Enough. It’s just enough already. Now, listen to me carefully because I’m only...
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Final Exam for the Class “What a Presidential Candidate Can and Cannot Survive, Apparently” Taught by Howard DeanFinal Exam Poli Sci 401 Yale University, Jackson School of Global Affairs Professor Howard Dean Part I (50 points) – multiple choice...
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“Ruining Your Credit So No One Wants to Steal Your Identity”: An Excerpt from Evan Waite’s New Book Life Wants You Dead- - - In this era of economic turmoil, climate catastrophe, and cliques of cool teens just waiting to make fun of your shoes, we live in a...
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I Am a Gen Z Employee Who Job Hops Every Two HoursAnd… send. Sorry, I’m just wrapping up my application for a six-figure Data Analyst position at a fancy tech startup. Please continue with your...
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Things I Would Never Know If I Didn’t Have a Seven-Year-OldWhether there’s something in my teeth. Whether my breath smells like fish after eating fish, or whether it smells like fish anyway....
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I’m the Word “Utilize” and I’m Loving Every Moment of Your Overblown RhetoricHi there, just stopping by to thank you for your loyalty. It’s flattering, really, how you find a way to wedge me into every email, team...
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A Regular Day in California, as Envisioned by Right-Wing Republicans“Nearly half of Republicans believe California ‘not really American.’ ” — LA Times - - - After being jolted awake by yet another...
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Sorry Not Sorry: Why Did Two Grandmasters Apologize to Each Other?A 2023 Column Contest grand-prize winner, Laurence Pevsner’s Sorry Not Sorry investigates why we’re sick of everyone apologizing all...
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The United States Forest Service Answers Questions About Its New Policy to “Kill All Ticks and Consign Them to an Eternity in the Flaming Valleys of Hell”What is the Forest Service’s new policy regarding the tick problem? We locate the hellbeasts wherever they have made the mistake of existing...
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What Your Favorite ’90s Band Says About the Kind of Bored Suburban Mom You Are TodayVeruca Salt: Like Captain Ahab, you are defined by an all-absorbing monomaniacal obsession: to find comfortable shoes that aren’t hideous....
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Letters to Moms: A Letter to Mallory Pike’s MomIn this column , Kristen Mulrooney writes letters to famous mothers from literature, TV, and film whom she finds herself relating to on a...
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Oh Crap, My Mom Just Cashed In All Her Mother’s Day CouponsI only have 137 days until my wedding, but I’m starting to worry I won’t finish all of the planning. You see, my mom just cashed in...
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Being a Mother Is EasyDespite near-constant whining about how impossible it is to be a mother, really, it’s simple: you just have to be perfect. No, not like that. Not...
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Family Tours in the Kingdom of the Sick: Thank You for Your Toxic PositivityWhen COVID struck Rebecca Saltzman’s family, the virus unmasked a life-changing discovery: her husband and two of their kids had genetic...
